Gentle reader, I am happy to be able to look back on my first month on Weight Watchers and tell you that a lot of exciting changes are already happening for me. I SO wish I had started earlier, because the changes are already pretty magical. I don't just mean the weight loss--which I'll get to in a moment--but my attitude, my hopefulness, my general sense of health and energy: it's just gorgeous how different I feel. My beloved is also looking at me... rather approvingly. He has always made me feel loved and desired no matter what, but it's clear that he is liking what I've been doing. I have also had almost no hypoglycemic episodes (though there was one very bad day, and it began, as bad days almost always do for me, with an inadequate breakfast. If I don't start right, I can't seem to get back on track no matter what I do). I have more energy through the day--so much that I am starting to cut back on caffeine. And my skin is clearer! This is all in 4 1/2 weeks!
So, first: I've lost 6.8 pounds. That might not sound like a lot, but I already look and feel so different. I'm only 5'2", so even that amount of weight loss really changes my shape. It's not just the pounds, but also the exercise, because everything is tighter all around. I didn't have the nerve to take measurements before I started, but I obviously have lost at least 2 or 3" off my hips and waist: skirts that were verrrryy tight now fit comfortably, and I'm confidently putting on outfits I'd hid in the back of my closet for too long. And I've gone back to a less cumbersome cup size. My tummy is flatter, my arms are beginning to look sculpted, my face looks thinner... People! In a month!
The thing is, I've lost weight before. I know how to do it. But I somehow had it in my head that it had been too long, that I was too old, that that was no longer available to me. This was the first of many things that I had to reframe. One thing was reminding myself that although my weight has gone up and down, and I've spent a good four or five years now heavier than I want to be, that I've also spent a lot of my adult life thin: that this wasn't a fluke, or only something achieved through a quick diet, but something I have and can again maintain. To figure that out, I started hunting down old pictures, and while I found plenty where I am overweight and uncomfortable, I also found plenty where I am slender and strong. And I realized during those times, the big difference for me was activity level: regular and serious exercise. If I wanted to be thin again, not for a month or a year but for forever, then I realized I needed to start exercising my heart out. The calorie restriction, as I see it, is the extra push to help me undo the damage of over-eating, and obviously I will need to keep a close eye on the eating even after (especially after) I get to maintenance. But the thing that will keep me healthy, slim, radiantly alive is not one more or one less slice of cheese, but EXERCISE.
I come to this maybe from a different place than some people. I'm just speaking about my experience. Obviously I ate too much, since I'm eating less and losing weight. But I have never had a huge snack tooth. I've eaten a mostly whole foods diet most of my adult life. I haven't eaten meat in 28 years. Fried food disgusts me; I almost never touch candy or chips; I don't think I've had more than 6 or 8 cans of soda in all my years on this earth. I'm not an unhealthy eater. But I DO have monstrously challenging hypoglycemia: and when my blood sugar falls, I will eat a car if I have to in order to feel stabilized again.
So I've figured out that the key for weight loss for me, and the key to a healthy lifestyle, is simply this: blood sugar moderation, and exercise.
At some level, it is actually that simple. When blood sugar is stable, there is less of a biological panic driving me to eat. So eating every 3 or even every 2 hour (even just 10 or 12 almonds) keeps me from ever feeling the need to over eat. And guess what else? Exercise is helping to keep my blood sugar stable too.
I'm figuring a lot of things out, and I feel like I'm figuring out the keys to regain and keep the body that I want. It's beautifully disorienting and simple at the same time.
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